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way to be.

Aug. 26th, 2007 | 08:16 pm
music: adam's new song on the gweetar

it has been nearly a year since i have posted to this journal. i spent an afternoon last month reading through my old posts missing the years ive let carelessly slip by.

so many changes in the past few weeks.
so many in the past few years.

i remember fondly sitting on a picnic table in the middle of the quad lit only by parking lot lights and spending a fleeting moment with kittel.

i remember logging thousands of miles in the blue saturn with jen as my co-pilot and audio navigator running from the nothingness in our fear driven heads with voices louder than this planet and thoughts smaller that an ant. either way they both weighed a ton.

i remember nervous sneakers facing smiling crowds.
nervous heels facing smiling friends.
nervous feet facing smiling oceans.

i remember your faces at his funeral and the last embrace made by the last-only-boy-i-nearly-married, and how scared his face was to see me so alive.

i remember cloth clad studios hiding the joys of procrastination and the love of saves the day.

i remember far away dorm rooms, spent nights with far away souls.

i remember white washed buildings and no air conditioning.

i remember passing you on the street in madison leaving only the fireworks show between us.

i remember 2 being "spooned" in my back seat and the fronters blinded by new snow and chris carraba.

all in all i remember the same faces reminding me to keep remembering and keep being.

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(no subject)

Oct. 3rd, 2006 | 09:30 pm
location: in bed
mood: scaredscared
music: saves the day

i am getting married in 3 days. 72 some hours. and ill never be single again.

and that...

is terrifying.

like the episode from scrubs, where turk has no vows written and recites the monologue from when harry met sally.

i feel like harry.

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apollo is gone.

Sep. 15th, 2006 | 01:10 pm
location: on the couch
mood: disappointeddisappointed
music: not coheed

i just threw up a little in my mouth.

i am so disgusted with the choice made by this band. i dearly love claudio but he was carried by Mic and Josh (bass and drums)

well he got his wish, goodnight burning star.

Coheed Tour Update
For the upcoming August dates, due to personal reasons, Mic and Josh will not be performing with Coheed and Cambria. Instead, Claudio and Travis will be joined by Matt Williams (who formerly teamed with them in the band Jumblehead - from Nyack, NY) on bass and our beloved MP (ex-Samiam) on drums. "We'll discuss their future at a later date, but right now, all we want to do is to get out and play for our fans," Claudio said. "Travis and I are excited to share the stage with Matt and MP, because they add a new flavor to the songs and it makes performing them even more fun."

Coheed and Cambria will begin working on a new album this fall.

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(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2006 | 10:30 am

feista del complianos esta el fletchersario.

dias del laboria.

el casa del camp musica.


( fiesta birthday party at band camp for labor day. be there.
with drinks in your hand and rock in your heart.)

(oh, and a new bed room to sleep in, thats not in a tent or on an apartment floor.)

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(no subject)

Aug. 13th, 2006 | 05:39 pm

fucking skid row.

i saw fucking skid row.

and slaughter.

and... tesla. well not tesla we could barely handle the stylings of the skid.

i made friends with old women. and their simple plan loving kids.

then i threw my back out.
lifting a mini greyhound.


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(no subject)

Jul. 21st, 2006 | 05:05 pm

im freaking out man......

so i come home this evening to an unlocked front door, not unusual.
no mail, also not unusual.

so i walk the flight of stairs up to my apt.
and in front of my door is a giant box and a stack of mail on top of it.

which confused me.

then i walked in my apt, box in tow and look into the kitchen to see billows of pillow stuffing piling into the hallway.

i have determined bernie gets out of his cage during the day, walks himself, picks up the mail, answers the door for deliveries and is currently making a snow angel.

needless to say i need addresses from EVERYONE. the box was full of invitations waitng to be mailed.

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when you see the light.....

Jul. 3rd, 2006 | 11:46 am

you know its magic...

got to see my men last night, of course the hubby, mr. hock, russell the russ, and mr. PY.

fucking PY. damn i love his flowing locks. pete yorn was INCREDIBLE. wouldve been better had the bauer's joined, but oh well i cant control. I CANT CONTROL. that feels fucking INCREDIBLE to be able to say.

he played all the greatest songs. and he has a new album at the end of next month with jsut as superb licks.

bonus: NO OPENING BANDS!!!! it was all pete and his acoustic guitar for the first 3rd, then added phenomonal musicians.

gahl.so good.

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(no subject)

Jun. 30th, 2006 | 01:11 pm


Roberta FINALLY makes a decision for herself, by herself, all with the work done by her. After 2 months, almost to the day, I have interviewed, chosen, been offered and accepted a real life job. one that i feel good going into, one thats going to give me personal satisfaction and growth, one that will test my skills and heavily rely on all my great talents.

I accepted a Supported Living Assistant Manager position with Bethesda Lutheran Homes and Services. the same BLHS that Dr. John Bauer works for. so in theory Dr. J is my boss. so to speak.

I start on Mon. July 10, also Mark's 35th birthday.., at the watertown campus. My job will not be at the Watertown house, but in the tosa/browndeer area. i wil be in charge of upwards of 3 homes and their LA's and clientel. and i could not be happier.

it was a severly difficult journey for me this past month, i grew alot in my head and in my heart, and have really began the process of healing and recovery. ive let go of alot and gained alot in the process. like my very own personal starting over system. ive driven my husband by best friends and my families crazy with all this, but it will soon end. then il jsut drive them crazy with something else.

i sat in the parking lot of the brookield commons. trying to decide my future.
i weighed it all out, and i cannot pass up the chance for expereince this job offers. i hated not taking the autism job, originally my first choice, i hate putting companies like that in a position, but this really will be the best fit for me.

it may not work out with school like i hoped, but im still going to try. my mom told me to give myself til January, then really assess it.

all in all, the day is bright and new, hopefully i can keep up.

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o-60 in 3 days.

Jun. 27th, 2006 | 04:18 pm

my dog likes to play a game with himself. i think he might have an imaginary friend. he puts 3 toys (always 3) near each other on the couch and proceeds to jump and hop from toy to toy flinging and throwing and jumping and hopping. he looks like he might be mad. as in the crazy kind.

so i think my body is finally recovering.

friday i had an interview with WEAP. such a sad acronym for such a great organization. wisconsin early autism project. it went well, im hoping for a second interview, that would make my lifetime. i get home from said interview only to find a voicemnail... the original attempt at getting a job, Harbour Village in Greendale as a living assistant for adults with alzheimers and dimentia. also perfect for me. since i am one. i figured after the 2nd interview and no call back for nearly A MONTH, that the job was not in the cards. so i continued to search. completely pushing that place out of my head. now they fucking want me... after i have applied to 60, yes honestly 60 different "really prospective" jobs and 35 just so jobs. THATS 95 JOBS PEOPLE.

so they call me, i continue to freak out, call adam to figure out my life, of course, becuase i REALLY want this autism therapist job. like uh. and i would also liek the job at the foundry. so 2 full/part time jobs. i decide that i cannot say no to a job, after all this. so i take a part time positon with Harbour Village. wed and fri 3-11pm, every other weekend, every other holiday. this is where it starts to get funny.

i have accepted a job, i have at least A job. celebrate througout the weekend. here comes monday (barely in a daze)....

i awake to 4 voicemails. 3 of which are companies offering me jobs. 3!!! so now not only am i dealing with this 1 part time job, but a management position with bethesda (where ben's dad works) a managment with barnes and noble, the original, and full time with gap kids at mayfair. all the while STILL waiting for that hope of the autism and alterra.

completed the bethsda interview today, a 2 hour whopper. which im actually hoping i get. its like camp but better and like camp director but better. and it took forever to get and finish.

tommorw is the gap one, im hesitant to even go though. since well its gap kids and its mayfair....

lets hope god has a little magic up his sleeve.

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(no subject)

Jun. 26th, 2006 | 04:12 am


it hasnt even been 24 hours since we STOPPED drinking.

i slept for 16 hours today. and STILL feel hungover.

its gonna take a year to sober-up. i just dont get how alcoholics do it. i mean they drink this heavy for even longer amounts of time for years... i could barely do it for 12 hours.

god, 12 hours of drinking. that is so wrong.

i blame it all on ben, it was his idea to play sequence.

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